Coming from someone who lived according to how they desired, he really helped me in terms of building my own upright values and I am so thankful to Yongguk to this day for it. To me, Yongguk is like my life teacher, partner, and someone of the same figure. - Himchan
Even when our team wasn’t in a good state, he always supported us and led us. Because he puts in a lot of effort, the dongsaengs can continuously believe in him and follow him. - Daehyun
When I came here, I saw Yongguk hyung practicing and he was so good. I think I worked harder with the thought of, “If I’m in a team with that hyung, I feel like I can achieve something.” - Youngjae
At the time, Yongguk hyung liked being alone so we’d sleep separately too. Then one day, Yongguk hyung started sleeping next to me and that’s how we spent our days in depending on one another to overcome the obstacles. - Jongup
Yongguk hyung is my source of energy. Whenever I see him, the feeling of working harder grows inside me. - Zelo
Do You Love Someone With Depression?
If you have a partner or are close to someone who struggles with depression, you may not always know how to show them you love them. One day they may seem fine, and the next they are sad, distant and may push you away. It is important that you know that as a person who is close to them and trusted by them, you can help your friend or partner have shorter, less severe bouts of depression. Mental illness is as real as physical illness (it is physical actually, read more about that here) and your partner needs you as much as they would need to be cared for if they had the flu.
Your relationship may seem one-sided during these times, but by helping your partner through a very difficult and painful affliction, you are strengthening your relationship and their mental health in the long term.
1. Help them keep clutter at bay.
When a person begins spiraling into depression, they may feel like they are slowing down while the world around them speeds up. The mail may end up in stacks, dishes can pile up in the sink, laundry may go undone as the depressed person begins to feel more and more overwhelmed by their daily routine and unable to keep up. By giving your partner some extra help sorting mail, washing dishes or using paper plates and keeping chaos in check in general, you’ll be giving them (and yourself) the gift of a calm environment. (I’m a fan of the minimalist movement because of this, you can read more about that here.)
2. Fix them a healthy meal.
Your partner may do one of two things when they are in a depressed state. They may eat very little, or they may overeat. In either case, they may find that driving through a fast food restaurant or ordering a pizza online is just easier than fixing a meal. Eating like this, or neglecting to eat will only degrade your partner’s health, causing them to go deeper into their depression. Help your loved one keep their body healthy, and their mind will follow. This is a great article that talks about the “Brain Diet” which can help the symptoms of depression, and this article talks about how our modern diet could contribute to the recent rise in depression. Here is a recipe for a trail mix that is quick to make and has mood-boosting properties.
3.Get them outside.
The benefits of getting outside for a depressed person are huge. And it is possibly the last thing on earth your partner will want to do. Take them to be somewhere in nature. Pack a picnic and lie in the sun, take a leisurely hike or plant a garden. Being barefoot in the dirt, or “earthing” helps ground the body and reverse the effects of living in a world of emf’s, and digging in soil can actually act as an antidepressant, as a strain of bacterium in soil, Mycobacterium vaccae, triggers the release of seratonin, which in turn elevates mood and decreases anxiety. Sunshine increases Vitamin D production which can help alleviate depression. My friend Elizabeth wrote an excellent post about Vitamin D and its link to depression here. For more information about other sources of Vitamin D, this is a great post as well as this.
4. Ask them to help you understand what they’re feeling.
If your partner is able to articulate what they are going through, it will help them and you better understand what you are dealing with, and may give insight into a plan of action for helping your partner. Also, feeling alone is common for a depressed person and anything that combats that feeling will help alleviate the severity and length of the depression.
5. Encourage them to focus on self-care.
Depressed people often stop taking care of themselves. Showering, getting haircuts, going to the doctor or dentist, it’s all just too hard, and they don’t deserve to be well taken care of anyway in their minds. This can snowball quickly into greater feelings of worthlessness since “Now I’m such a mess, no one could ever love me”. Help your loved one by being proactive. Tell them “I’m going to do the dishes, why don’t you go enjoy a bubble bath?” can give them the permission they won’t give themselves to do something normal, healthy and self-loving.
6. Hug them.
Studies show that a sincere hug that lasts longer than 20 seconds can release feel-good chemicals in the brain and elevate the mood of the giver and receiver. Depressed people often don’t want to be touched, but a sincere hug with no expectation of anything further can give your partner a lift.
7. Laugh with them.
Telling a silly joke, watching a comedy or seeing a stand up comedian will encourage your partner to laugh in spite of themselves. Laughing releases endorphins and studies show can actually counteract symptoms of depression and anxiety.
8. Reassure them that you can handle their feelings.
Your partner may be feeling worthless, angry and even guilty while they are depressed. They may be afraid that they will end up alone because no one will put up with their episodes forever. Reassure them that you are in the relationship for the long haul and they won’t scare you away because they have an illness.
9. Challenge their destructive thoughts.
A depressed person’s mind can be a never-ending loop of painful, destructive thoughts. “I’m unlovable, I’m a failure, I’m ugly, I’m stupid”. Challenge these untruths with the truth. “You’re not unlovable, I love you. You aren’t a failure, here are all the things you’ve accomplished.”
10.Remind them why you love them.
Look at pictures of happy times you’ve had together. Tell them your favorite things about them. Reminisce about your relationship and all the positive things that have happened, and remind your partner that you love them and they will get through this.
(via The Darling Bakers)
More people need to know this.This is so incredibly important. I’ve seen people with depression ostracized so many times, and I cannot stress how much it means to each and every person I’ve tried to reach out to after whatever “falling-outs” they’ve had due to depression. Remember to always be compassionate and kind to all friends like this, because you never know what they’re going through.
Thing not to do: make it about you
The 9 Types of Intelligence
By Howard Gardner Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences
A tale from 2ch of girls, emails, and hamsters. (Posts from the thread-starter are labeled #OP, the people replying to him are labeled #2ch.)
There’s this girl I’ve had feelings for since high school, and now we’re in college together. We’ll call her Denko.
Once we hit second year, we went out drinking, and I worked up the courage to exchange numbers.
We started out talking often, but she hasn’t answered me in three days now.
I’m getting depressed just thinking that Denko might be sick, or that something happened to her… (´･ω･`)
Please, somebody give me some advice.
SHE DOESN’T LIKE YOU.
GIVE IT UP.
Today would have been Mr Rogers’ 84th birthday. Thanks for showing me how to rock a cardigan and always been a kind neighbor.
one time some dudes stole mr. rogers’s car, and it got into the news, like you’d expect
the next day the car was back where he’d left it with a note that said “we’re so sorry, we never would’ve taken it if we’d known it was yours”
I like to think they recognized this as a sign from god and turned their lives around
another true story: mr. rogers lobbied in favor of vcrs back when the tv and movie industries were against them, because he wanted families to be able to record shows and watch them together
he was always, always thinking about children, letting them know it’s okay to be sad or scared or mad and how to deal with it, letting them know there’s at least one person in the world who loves them just the way they are
and no matter who you were, no matter why you crossed his path, he wanted to know about your life and understand you and be your friend
I believe he is a for-real saint and I wish I could be more like him but it’s okay, I know he loves me just the way I am
Another true story: one time he received a letter from a blind girl who mentioned that she gets nervous sometimes that he’d forget to feed the fish. From that moment on, he made some comment outloud about how he was feeding the fish so she and any other blind viewers would know that he hadn’t forgotten.
Always reblog Mr. Rogers.
i’m actually crying you don’t understand
More story time! My dad was once walking around the neighborhood that Mr. Rogers lived in, and he ended up running into him. They chatted for a little bit, and then he asked my dad if he would like to join him in his walk, and they ended up wandering the neighborhood for a couple hours, just talking about anything and everything.
To this day, my dad still maintains that Mr. Rogers was the most genuine and kind person he has ever met.